Have You Ever?
by amyyrileyy
Summary: Oneshot. Neela's POV mostly.


Title: Have You Ever?  
Author: Amy  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any characters. The song lyrics are from "Have You Ever?" by S Club 7.  
Summary: Oneshot. Neela's POV mostly. It was just something on my mind.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Ray?"  
"Hey."  
"Were you watching Ghost?"  
"What? No, no, it's the game."  
"Where's your date?"  
"Oh yeah, uh, something happened."  
"She stood you up."  
"Yeah, fine. You know, if that's what you wanna hear? She stood me up, okay?"  
"Well, you are a mere mortal after all."  
"Rough night?"  
"Is it possible to kick yourself out of a club?"  
"Well…to better times."  
"Yup."  
"You know, I feel very proud of Michael but sometimes when I'm with all those old wives. I start to get so angry, frustrated, I talk too much."  
"You? Talk too much?"  
"It's only because I miss him. This is utterly pathetic."  
"What?"  
"This. Married woman living like a college student, crying next to her roommate on the sofa."  
"Yeah, well I have something that will make you feel better."  
"You recorded it for me??"  
"Anything for my Roomie."

_**Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over,  
Knowing there's so much more to say.  
Suddenly the moment's gone  
And all your dreams are upside down  
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round.**_

"Yo, Neela!"  
"I'm in here."  
"Hey, I brought you a peace offering. Extra anchovies and I promise, no more dirty dishes, okay?"  
"I'm, uh, gunna go and stay at, uh, Abby's for a while. She's at Luka's most of the time so.."  
"So, what are you, like, moving out tonight?"  
"I'll get to the post office when I can. Get my mail forwarded."  
"Want to at least wait 'til you find new place?"  
"I don't think that's a good idea."  
"Yeah, you're probably right. Hey, um, all good things, right? Sure had a lot fun though. Well, maybe the next guy won't drink all my tequila. Uh.. need a hand with anything?"  
"Uh, no, thanks."  
"Pizza?"  
"I better get going."  
"You know, I have been looking for this for like a month."  
"I rather liked sleeping in it. I'll, uh, I'll get the rest tomorrow."  
"Neela! Look, just - just wait, one second, please. I wish I didn't feel how I feel. You're the best friend I've ever had. Keep this."

_**  
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody,  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?  
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby?  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking,  
Looking down the road you should be taking.  
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let you go.**_

"Dr. Rasogtra?"  
"Yes?"  
"I'm Captain Evans, this is Father Marris. Is there someplace more private we can talk?"  
"Can you tell me why you're here, please?"  
"I really think it would be better…"  
"Tell me."  
"Ma'am, the Secretary of the Army would like to express his deepest regrets."  
"No, wait, there must be some mistake."  
"Your husband, Captain Michael Gallant was killed in action -."  
"No, I'm – I'm sorry, you've got it mixed up. Michael is a doctor, he's not a soldier soldier."  
"He was killed when his truck was hit by a roadside bomb. Again, the Secretary extends his deepest sympathies."  
"I'm sorry. I'm working, I can't do this right now."

_**  
Can't help but think that this is wrong; we should be together;  
Back in your arms where I belong.  
Now I've finally realized it was forever that I've found,  
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round.**_

"I was just talking to him four days ago. He was complaining about the food and I was complaining about how cold Abby's apartment is. I honestly don't even remember what else we were talking about."  
"I am so sorry, Neela. We all are.  
"I was probably ordering a latte or watching Celebrity Poker when he was being blown up by a bomb. Just like that he's gone."  
"Listen, if you need anything or you want me to do anything…"  
"No, Ray, I don't… I don't need you to do anything. I just… I need to get back to work.  
"No, Neela, look. You need to go home and take care of things. You need to take care of yourself.  
"You know, I don't have a home, I don't have a husband, I don't have anything. All I have is this stupid hospital. Just stay the hell away from me."

_**  
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody,  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?  
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby?  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking,  
Looking down the road you should be taking?  
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let you go.**_

"You ambushed me!"  
"You were spewing absurdity."  
"Do you not like me or something?"  
"I think you're a wanker?  
"A wanker?"  
"Yeah, you're cocky, arrogant -."  
"Ouch."  
"And you're not as smooth as you think you are."  
"I'm not?"  
"No, you're not."  
"I never said I was."

_**  
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels  
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see?  
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow,  
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round.**_

"Hey, how'd it go with your big secret?"  
"Oh, terrible. Actually, worse than expected but our cheerleader did quite well, though."  
"Uh, yeah. The police are interviewing the whole squad, as well as the coach, too."  
"Good."  
"Getting off soon?"  
"Uh, yeah. Thank God."  
"Me too. Wanna grab a beer?"  
"Sounds good but, um, I have some dictations to do."  
"Okay, another time."

_**  
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody,  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?  
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby?  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking,  
Looking down the road you should be taking?  
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let,  
Yes I loved and lost the day I let.  
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go.**_

"Okay, yeah, that was – that was a fun night."  
"Oh God, it seems like a million years ago."  
"Well, we should do that again sometime."  
"Minus the whiskey. I can't bounce back like I use to."  
"Yeah, tell me about it."  
"Well, thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"I'm off."  
"Okay, then… I'll see you when I see you."  
"Neela, wait."


End file.
